My fingers hurt. My back hurts. My arms are sore. I’m struggling to grip stuff. I’m tired.

This is my daily ritual. Every day I come home from Jiu Jitsu very fatigued.

I do it because I enjoy seeing the improvements every time I step on the mats. I do this because I enjoy learning new things, pushing my body to new limits and getting a tiny bit better every single day.

Sometimes I don’t improve. Sometimes I step on the mats and everything goes wrong, I get submitted by everybody and I don’t enjoy myself. In these days there’s still lessons to be learned. Every day you do something isn’t always a good day, but there’s always something to learn.

It’s interesting to see what tiredness does to you. When you’re so tired that your limbs don’t do what your mind tells them to you get to see the honesty. You can’t pretend to be good at Jiu Jitsu, and there’s nothing to hide behind. When you stand in front of another person and spar with them you find out who they are. Their level of character. Their ability to handle pressure. Their ability to handle pain. That’s the honest traits of a human being: how somebody handles the struggle.

My fingers hurt to type this. My neck hurts to bend down and read this. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to not have sore fingers, sore muscles and bruises everywhere.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.